We’re now at the most boring part of a MotoGP year…which given the 2024 season is quite a claim. Until testing finally happens in February all us fans can look forward to is seeing what minuscule design changes and new stickers each bike has for this season.
But what if there was a way to still get a motorsport fix during these suicide-strong months? Well there is! Sort of.
Here’s MGPNews’ definitive guide to what you should be watching, literally, whilst waiting for the paint to dry.
Formula E
Formula E sprang into existence over a decade ago jumping onboard the e-wagon of electric vehicles. It was proudly touted as the potential successor of F1 given that everyone knew that EV’s, just like 3D TVs, were the future.
Ten years later and it’s clear that Formula E isn’t the future. However is it worth a watch?
Pros
Formula E races are unlike any other motorsport events. In days gone by viewers could text in their favourite driver mid-race and the three winners received a boost of power. Unsurprisingly those rules were eventually flushed out however FE still has ‘attack mode’. Attack Mode is a system where a driver runs wide on a designated corner to receive a significant advantage – an idea that was based on Rossi’s 2015 ‘wide line’ that saw him boot off Marquez. Once in Attack Mode the car mysteriously switches to 4WD and has a ramp up in power. To make things even more unclear the amount of attack mode allowed in each race is determined by the organisers before the race and if a driver doesn’t use it all he’s disqualified.
It’s all utterly bizarre. Add this to a grid of drivers at the none-pinnacle eras of their careers means each race usually ends in utterly confusing carnage.
Cons
Firstly there’s the sound – that at best sounds like 22 fridge doors been opened. Then there’s the racing that usually flits between confusing and ridiculous.
Finally there’s the gimmicks. ‘Attack mode’ this season is so massively overpowered it makes the actual racing aspect of the sport less relevant than warranty for Benelli.
Ice Speedway
Take a 500cc engine. Add it to a bare-bones bike with no brakes or gears. Then add 300 lethally sharp spikes to the tyres. Finally race these bikes on ice and what do we have? That’s right, punctured lungs for all.
Welcome to the wonderful world of Ice Speedway.
Pros
It’s utterly mental. Furthermore the elite riders are all Russian – and these guys know if they don’t perform they’ll be next on the conscription list.
Cons
The best riders and races are all over the wrong side of the iron curtain. This means it’s hard to watch any events without inadvertently signing your data over to the Kremlin.
Dakar Rally
In the good old days the Paris-Dakar rally was incredible. 600+ vehicles tearing through remote villages, clipping some of the pesky locals and crashing into their goats. Riders and drivers would get lost and never found and the entire event was complete carnage.
Sadly all this fun came to an end in the 2000s thanks to terrorism and the occasional cheeky landmine.
In its place came the Dakar-Rally – although not quite as chaotic it did reduce the odds of crew members ending up on a Al Qaeda recruitment video. The race is run in January – perfect for our off-season blues.
Pros
The equipment is incredible. Not just the bikes but all vehicles in all classes. Marvel at the technology and expenses spent on each vehicle as they roll out of control down an oversized dune.
Cons
It’s not easy to follow and after a while sand starts to look the same. Added to that there are about 500 different classes meaning it’s hard to know or care who’s racing who.
Andros Trophy
Born in 1990, when everything was awesome, the Andros Trophy is essentially Rally Cross on snow in France. The circuits are carved out of the ice and a bunch of racers are thrown onto the track to skid around in their cars.
The series has had many famous F1 drivers including Olivier Panis, Romain Grosjean and Jacques Villeneuve – along with Alain Prost who won the Andros Trophy championship on several occasions by skilfully negotiating a deal where he had better equipment than everyone else and that none of Senna’s relatives could race in the series.
Pros
It’s fairly basic stuff. Cars racing on ice, bashing into each other and the winner is the driver that comes first. Very easy to watch.
Cons
Dinosaurs cancelled it. Global warming, which is caused by burning too much dinosaur bone seepage, meant that in 2023 the organisers were forced to call time on the championship as they couldn’t guarantee snow. If the French wanted to see a load of beaten up cars driving around in the mud then they’d just go to their local flea market.
