Christmas is coming so we at MGPNews have intercepted some of your favourite rider’s letters to King Frog Santa for your entertainment.
Dear King Frog Santa
I’d like a different brother please. Preferably one that doesn’t keep showing me up.
A.Marquez
Well Alex this is a tricky one.
After double checking Wikipedia it seems that I never had a brother so just like you I don’t have any firsthand experience of easily beating them. However I put this question out to my millions of Twitter followers and got this response from ‘RS 🇩🇪🏳️🌈’
“Convince your brother to retire from the sport and then return once he is passed it on inferior machinery to ruin their legacy. Then book him a ski holiday.”
Good advice I’d say.
Dear King Frog Santa
I’d love a job please!
B.Binder
It’s a crying shame Brad that you can’t get a ride. MotoGP has carried some pretty terrible riders over the years due to their passport (Criville, Pedrosa) or shape of their head (Bayliss, Capirossi)
A doomed motorcycle project with some worthless piece of junk bikes piled up in a warehouse in Eastern Europe is something I definitely have no experience of…and if Chris Walker tries to tell you otherwise then he’s a liar and shouldn’t be trusted. I should never have hired him in the first place as I couldn’t understand a word of his strong Yorkshire accent but I did like the idea of annoying Neil Hodgson and he was cheap.
Sadly I have since found out that Chris wasn’t from Yorkshire and his broad indecipherable accent was due to his claim that he was suffering from some made up disease. Regardless, I think my point still stands.
Hope that helps
Dear King Frog Santa
I’d love a V4 please!
F.Quartararo
So you want a competitive bike to mask your overall lack of ability? Well, you wouldn’t be the first to request a “Doohan” and seek an unfair advantage over the rest of the riders on the grid (who by the way I don’t actually rate). Its typical of this generation (along with Scott Russell if he was still about and not some weirdo born again Christian) to seek an unfair advantage and then cry to their mums when they don’t get what they want. It’s well known that I haven’t cried to my mum for over 10 years and that Mikela only had to give me a big boy cuddle once or twice to help me get back to sleep.
Everyone needs to remember that the all conquering 916 was only all conquering due to my ability, style, haircut and class leading sense of humour. Before me a Ducati would be most likely to fall to bits on the siting lap and be sold as agricultural parts than be parked 1st in Parc Ferme with me the Blackburn Bullethead on board.
So, no Fabio you can’t have a V4. Cheats never win (apart from perhaps Bartosz Zmarzlik and Max Verstappen).
Dear King Frog Santa
I’d love a coffee machine that I could use before races to stop me falling asleep in the first half or a race.
E.Bastianini
Well Enea I was always known in the Ducati camp as being able to make the best coffee that those Italian lot had ever tasted. I clearly remember one mechanic weeping majestically when he tried my ‘mellow bird’s special’ and left home that evening believing his whole life was a lie. It was probably due to my high corner speed spoon stirring technique and ability to adapt to different mug sizes faster than any of these half-washed baristas.
However before I ship out a De’Longhi maybe you should, first, consider emulating my style? Check out my outlaps heading from of the pits to my pole position grid slot – notice something? That’s right – I’d always set the fastest split times of the weekend as I was instantly switched on. This would demoralise the other riders – especially Frankie Chili who’d have nightmares about it and would come looking for me in his pyjamas in pitlane!
Dear King Frog Santa
I want to be more like you and less like me.
Mr Incognito
Haha! Sorry Neil Hodgson – I’d recognise your terrible handwriting anywhere! You could have been a doctor with that handwriting…although you’d probably not be very good at that either.
