After the catastrophic results of the weekend Italy declared a week of official mourning. As the country struggled to come to terms with what had been witnessed many villages paraded effigies of Lady Madonna through the streets with the Antichrist and his younger slightly more rubbish brother depicted as cruelly mocking her.
Even the Vatican was forced to release a statement claiming the events in Thailand show a worrying trend towards the apocalypse that’s even worse than what’s going on abroad. Also all but essential ravioli is forbidden.
So we at MGPNews have travelled to Italy, via a budget airline, to talk to the average greasy person on the street to find their views on what just happened and the long-term thoughts on the sport.
Luigi Gizzardini
“I’ve been watching MotoGP passionately since before I was weaned off breastfeeding, in my late 20s, and I will always watch it. It’s in my blood. It’s as much a part of my DNA as extra virgin olive oil or waving my arms around when I don’t get my own way. However I won’t be watching MotoGP anymore. What’s the point if Vale or one of his disciples doesn’t win? How are we supposed to smugly mince around in our yellow t-shirts if the enemy wins?”
Roberto Chucklepasta
“As a passionate Italian greasebag I’m a lover not a hater. I don’t hate anything or anyone. That said I really hate the Marquez family. Especially his dad. Stood smirking as his sons disrespect the Rossi legacy. I think we should start a war against the Marquez family and Spain in general – and when I say ‘we’ I mean Germany…with us Italians stood a safe distance behind jeering the Krauts on.”
Carmela Flingaroni
“I’ll never stop watching MotoGP and I don’t ever want to see any rider injured however I’ll probably only start watching it again if Marquez falls off and gets badly injured. Which is what I want.”
Riccardo Floppytini
“I’m a huge fan of Marc Marquez and believe he’s a once-in-a-generation rider. I have nothing but admiration for what he’s achieved and the setbacks he’s overcome. And it’s because of these views that I find myself disowned by my family and living homeless on the streets with the rats and olive stones. My only interactions with my fellow greasy Italians is when they spit on me or, worse yet, throw English food at me.”
Rosetta Meatballini
“I feel betrayed by Ducati. They’re supposed to be one of us. I hated them when they didn’t give Vale the superior machinery that he deserved all those years ago and I hate them now for this.
Not only have Ducati given Marquez their best bike but they’ve allowed him to cheat with his tyre pressures already. Cheating is all he knows. And now they favour him.
I also blame Dorna. They knew that by introducing sprint races this would hinder Pecco. They knew he struggled with small fuel tanks so knew this would be a way to let the Spanish riders improve. But then I guess it’s no wonder that this happens given Dorna are Spanish.”
