Ooh la la! With the recent splendid news that the French GP will remain on the MotoGP calendar for another five years we at MGPNews are honouring our allium-scented chums with our list of six Le Mans facts you probably didn’t know.
Henri’s Gate
The original Le Mans circuit was over 100 miles long (or something) and threaded its way through many abandoned cheese wheels and challenging regions. In one particular section the track ran through a rusty cattle gate owned by the local farmer Henri La Carotte. This gate needed to be opened by Henri before any race and closed again afterwards. Often though the irate Henri would shut the entrance before the final tailenders had passed through often causing some horrific pile ups that were conveniently overlooked in those days.
Such horseplay came to an end in ’39 when La Carotte, like a majority of his countrymen, hid in a haystack for six years upon hearing of the Kraut-based invasion. Henri’s well-timed disappearance gave the Le Mans owners an opportunity to seize control of the troublesome gate and prop it open permanently with a carelessly abandoned sourdough baguette.
Mascot
Le Mans relatively unknown official mascot is a chain-smoking motorcycle named Pierre. Local folklore states that Pierre would refuse to start any event unless offered a tiny espresso and a compliment in his native tongue.
Whining
In the late 1960s, at a race at the Charade Circuit, the pit crew of Benoit Bolide accidentally fuelled his Terrot Super Tenor with red wine instead of petrol. Incredibly Benoit still finished third while singing “La Marseillaise” over the finish line. Meanwhile his crew ended up drinking several glasses of petroleum claiming the heady brew had ‘a bold and audacious nose, revealing an intriguing bouquet of hydrocarbons with whispers of earthy asphalt and a daring hint of industrial spice.’
Sadly for Bolide he was disqualified after the event – not for the use of illegal fuel but for being unable to play Frère Jacques on the accordion to within the 107% error rate at the post-race scrutiny.
Outdoor bathing
The French GP conveniently lands each year on a date that coincides with the country’s ‘wet week’. This typically results in an unpredictable race but why this date? The answer lies with the cunning yet cowardly French authorities and their desire to reduce fungal infections and the ringworm epidemic that’s crippling their health service.
You see the French in general are soap dodgers as they believe too much bathing leads to an unwanted pleasant whiff. ‘Once a quarter, needed or not’ tends to be the country’s ‘rule d’beret’ when it come to a bath. Added to that the motorcyclist community are the worst offenders and it’s dermatitis neglecta for all.
To counter this the French authorities demand the race is run when it’s most likely to piss it down and ensure that all shelter at the circuit is annoyingly porous. This means the soggy trackside crust crusaders get a refreshing bathe against their will.
Pastry above
The original Le Mans circuit was secretly designed to resemble a giant croissant from above. Originally it was going to resemble a beret but getting that little sticky up bit at the top proved way too problematic.
However the croissant form, which was clearly identifiable when flying a Bloch 150 overhead, was adamantly denied by the owners who feared the local bakeries would demand royalties or go on strike.
Pants
The terrible 1955 Le Mans disaster (don’t look it up) was unfortunately labelled with the title of ‘worst event witnessed in motorsport.’ The grizzly incident held onto the grim title for several decades until that time in the 1980s when Randy Mamola was filmed prancing around in his piss-stained Y-fronts on a catwalk for some reason.
